Confessions of a Germ-A-Phobic Mother

Anybody who truly knows me, knows that I am a mild germ-a-phobe. I don't know when this fear of germs started (I am sure that my Mother probably has a few stories to share from my elementary years), but I think it has gotten worse as I have gotten older. I go a tad nutty when I feel like my hands are germy. I am a major supporter of the hand sanitizer industry. I can't stand how my children smell when they come home from school. I HATE being breathed on. And... I have been known to discreetly change seats at church when I realize I am sitting by someone who is sick. Do I need some form of treatment... probably. However, a couple of years ago I saw a show about treating people with irrational germ fears-- and they made the patients lick a public toilet seat-- I decided then that I would NOT be signing up for medical intervention any time soon.


While this small problem is quite manageable most of the time... I will be the first to admit that the protective instincts that come with having a new baby, nudge me from the category of "run-of-the-mill germ hater" to more of a borderline lunatic. This past week, my entire family has come down with a bad cold-- poor little sweethearts. I am praying that they get over it before the baby is born. Otherwise, I will be stocking up on some of these...


and these...


and maybe even these...


I would be lying if I said the thought hasn't seriously crossed my mind. :)

My Greatest Treasures!

I am 38 weeks pregnant. I got to have an ultrasound at my appointment yesterday. It is a close up of the baby's face. You can see a cute little profile (aren't those little lips so adorable?).
During the ultrasound, the technician pointed out hair on the baby's head. My babies are always born bald-- so I am certain this hair will probably be gone by the time this baby makes its debut-- but seeing that little tiny hairy head made my heart swoon. It is a difficult emotion to put into words. I honestly didn't think I could have another ounce of love for this baby. However, just seeing something as simple as hair made my heart swell with such deep and profound love for this sweet baby. "Mother's Love" amazes me. I think it is about as close to "Heavenly Love" as you can get.
I thought back on my other babies being born, and how much I loved them before I ever saw them. That love has deepened so much, as I have had the privilege of being their Mother. I feel so blessed and I am excited to get to know our new baby, and all of it's little traits.

This is Cameron:


This is Kyle:


Here is Kailani:


And, this is Karen:


Each child that Ryan and I have been privileged to have placed in our trust, has brought with it such indescribable joy and blessings. These truly are my most precious treasures!

Oh' How I Love Saturday Chores!!!

I L.O.V.E. Saturday chores!-- However, I am the only one who happens to love this weekly regiment. Even though we do it every week... the children still act like it is Big-Fat-Surprising-News to them when I announce that we will be spending sometime cleaning before we start the days festivities. Reactions vary each Saturday. Sometimes everyone happily does what they are asked, in order to get on to the fun stuff for the day. (This is actually the case most Saturdays-- and I truly enjoy working together as a family). Sometimes the children grumpily comply-- in order to get on to the fun stuff for the day. And... sometimes, I face a flat out revolt... which means that there is quite a delay in the fun stuff for the day! I don't enjoy crackin' the whip--- but I DO enjoy a clean house. And, I DO enjoy having some assistance in getting to that point-- thus the need for Saturday chores! Can you guess who the dissenter was on this particualr Saturday? Here is a clue: he is displaying the 2 pieces of garbage that he picked up... in the hour or so that we all worked. Lucky for him, he has that cute little face. :)





In Kyle's defense, there are many Saturdays that he is my best assistant. He just wasn't feeling it this particular morning!

Mothers Day 2010

Mother's Day always brings mixed emotions for me. It is a day that always makes me feel happy-- yet always causes me a tinge of sadness. Happy, because I love being a Mother. I was born to be a Mother. My children are my most precious gift. Happy, because I recognize the increased growth and understanding of eternal principles that Motherhood has taught me. Happy, because I love my Mother, and my Grandmothers. They deserve to be loved and honored. On the other hand... sad, because I am not always the Mother that I wish I could be (not even close). Sad, because I believe that my children deserve so much better than they were given (for a Mother). And, sad, because my children are growing up too quickly, and I am forced to reflect on how this is a fleeting stage in my life-- a stage that is passing too quickly.

It was a good day. In church, there were some excellent talks, and delicious chocolates. After church, I enjoyed spending time with my favorite people, eating one of my favorite meals, and being showered with gifts. I am very blessed!

I got this...




and this...




and this...



But, even better-- I got loads of these...



And, even got to take one of these... (a rare luxury in my life)



One thing is for sure, I feel tremendously blessed to have the children that I do. They amaze me. They bring me immense joy. I am so grateful to be home with them each day. I love spending every second with them, and wouldn't want my life any other way. They are so special.

I Only Have Eyes For You!

So-- my sister is moving, and in the process of packing, found some googly eyes. Naturally, that led to some good ol' fashioned fun with her girls. You can enjoy her pictures here.

The next day, when Karen brought some googly eyes home from preschool, we knew we had to take some pictures to send back to my sister-- we couldn't help ourselves! It was worth some good laughs!





But the best laugh of all was when-- the very next day-- we received these pictures of my Mom and Dad. My Mother couldnt believe when these eyes turned up in a closet she was cleaning out.




What a good looking family! Who would have thought that googly eyes could bring days of good belly laughs?

Choosing to be Happy

I taught the lesson in Relief Society on Sunday. I am putting it on my blog-- more for my own journaling purposes, than for sharing. However, I did have a few people ask for a copy, and your welcome to use it if you like. It makes a great FHE lesson too.


INTRODUCTION:
As I have contemplated on what I wanted to focus my lesson on... I have thought of many topics that would be good, but my mind just kept returning to one specific theme. That is, the idea of "choosing to be happy".

PERSONAL EXAMPLE:
About a year and a half ago, my little family had a number of hard things happen– one right after another. Some of these were frustrating. Some were just plain draining. And some– one in particular– were VERY sad. I remember feeling like my heart would never be whole again. My children’s hearts were hurting, and I needed to help them to be OK as well. It was overwhelming. During this time, we went to visit my parents. As our stay came to an end, I began to cry. I said to my Dad, "I don’t want to go back to my "real life". My dad smiled, and hugged me, and said, "Kristen, this is your real life." It is such a simple statement, but I thought about it for most of the 3 hour ride home. THIS is my real life. Family and Friends who love me are my real life. The gospel of Jesus Christ, and all its blessings are my real life. Little things throughout my day that make me smile are my real life. And trials and tribulation are a part of my real life too. But I realized that was OK– those things would be fleeting. The things that mattered– those things that bring true joy– were not only a part of my "real-life", but were a part of my eternal life as well. I decided to spend more time dwelling on those things.

Read 2 Nephi 2:24-25 "But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things. Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy."

Heavenly Father wants us to be happy. Because we have a knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and know that we are spirit children of God, we should be the most positive-thinking people in the whole world. We know that our loving Father in Heaven has put us on earth to succeed, not to fail. It isn’t a coincidence that the plan that He has given us to guide us in this life-- and help us return to live with Him-- is called, "The Great Plan of Happiness"

Life will not always be easy, part of the reason we are here on earth is to be tried and tested, and those trials are very real. HOWEVER, we can choose to be happy (atleast to some degree) no matter what our situation.

President Spencer W. Kimball has said, "I remind you. . . that regardless of your present age, you are building your life; . . . It can be full of joy and happiness, or it can be full of misery. It all depends upon you and your attitudes, for your altitude, or the height you climb, is dependant upon your attitude or your response to situations" (Ensign, Nov. 1974, 80).

What can we do in our lives to "choose" happiness?
There are many things, but I would like to focus on just a few.

1- Keep the Commandments

Alma 41:10 teaches that "Wickedness never was happiness".

Q: If this is true, then why do some people who break the commandments appear to have happy, fulfilling, lives?

The key word in that question is "appear". While those who break commandments may have momentary pleasure through disobedience, eventually it leads to sorrow, suffering, or slavery. (Kite Analogy:– when a kite breaks away from the string, it might appear "free" perhaps even like it is suddenly rising even higher– but eventually the kite will spin out of control and crash to the ground) There is ALWAYS a consequence to disobedience, some just take longer than others to become apparent.

Even though the world teaches that sin will bring joy– and it might momentarily– true and lasting joy can only be obtained by keeping the commandments.

Joseph Smith taught the key to happiness when he said that God "never has–He never will– institute an ordinance or give a commandment to His people that is not calculated in its nature to promote that happiness which He has designed, and which will not end in the greatest amount of good and glory to those who become the recipients of his law and ordinances."

Trust Heavenly Father, and His eternal vision. Keep the Commandments.
I could probably end my lesson here– having given you the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do to be happy. If there is nothing else that you get from my lesson– I hope that you will realize the gospel is orchestrated– if we choose to do what is right– to bring us happiness in this life, and lasting joy throughout eternity. When it comes to being happy, living the gospel is THE key.

2- Count your Blessings

Elder Joseph B. Worthlin said, "Our minds have a marvelous capacity to notice the unusual. But there is a problem! ... the opposite is true as well, the more often we see things around us– even the beautiful and wonderful things– the more they become invisible to us. That is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world– the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds– and even those we love. ...Because we see things so often, we "see" them less and less"

Fortunately, just as our brains can be trained to not notice the blessings around us– they can also be trained to be more aware of the many blessings we are given.

In a scientific experiment, researchers had 3 different groups of people: one group wrote for 20 minutes each day about things they were grateful for; the second group wrote about things they were angry about; and the third group did nothing. At the end of the experiment, can you guess which group resulted in being the happiest– the one that focused on their blessings each day. Elder Joseph B. Worthlin said that gratitude "is a quality I have found in every happy person I know."
Q: What are some things that you have done in your own life that have helped make you more aware of the blessings that surround you?

The Lord Himself promised, "He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more." (D&C 78:19)

3- Serve Others

When we serve others, we take the focus off of our own lives, and focus on the needs of others.
President Gordon B Hinckley learned this lesson while serving on a mission in England. It was early in his mission, and he was discouraged. The work was hard, and the people were not receptive. However, there came a time when discouragement turned to commitment. For him, the beginning was a letter from his father in which he read: "Dear Gordon, I have your letter. … I have only one suggestion: Forget yourself and go to work." In describing what happened next, President Hinckley said: "I got on my knees in that little bedroom … and made a pledge that I would try to give myself unto the Lord.
"The whole world changed. The fog lifted. The sun began to shine in my life. I had a new interest. I saw the beauty of this land. I saw the greatness of the people. … Everything that has happened to me since, that’s been good, I can trace to that decision made in that little house" (in Mike Cannon, "Missionary Theme Was Pervasive during Visit of President Hinckley," Church News, Sept. 9, 1995, 4).
President Hinckley continued by saying: "You want to be happy? Forget yourself and get lost in this great cause, and bend your efforts to helping people" (in Church News, Sept. 9, 1995, 4).

I think President Hinckley is one of the best examples I know of a happy, positive person. President Hinckley served others his entire life.

Jesus taught in Matthew 16:25: "Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: And whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. When speaking of this scripture, President David O McKay said, "This significant passage contains a secret more worthy of possession than fame or dominion, something more valuable than all the wealth of the world.
It is a principle, the application of which promises to replace discouragement and gloom with hope and gladness; to fill life with contentment and peace everlasting. This being true, its acceptance would indeed be a boon today to this distracted, depression-ridden world. Why, then, do men and nations ignore a thing so precious?"
Sometimes, the only thing we can do is lose our own lives in the service of others.

4- Pray

One reason why we should pray is that many of the blessings God wants to give us depend on us asking for them first. Nephi said "I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh (2 Nephi 4:35). And Brigham Young taught, "By bowing down before the Lord to ask Him to bless you, you will simply find this result– God will multiply blessings on you temporally and spiritually."
The Bible Dictionary teaches, "The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.

5- Read the Scriptures

The scriptures are full of examples of people who chose to be happy in difficult circumstances.
Can you think of any?
1 Nephi 3:4-7 Laman and Lemuel and Nephi were commanded to do the same thing– the difference in the outcome was a result of their attitudes.

6- Focus on the Good

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "My plea is that we stop seeking out the storm and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort."

I love how he says "still our voices of insult and sarcasm". The world whas too much insult and sarcasm.
Q: How does it make you feel when you spend time around negative or sarcastic people?

7- Develop your Gifts and Talents

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said that one key to developing happiness (and he called it God-like happiness) is to create. He went on to say, "You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it."

Q: How has spending time developing gifts and talents helped you cultivate happiness?

8- Learn to Laugh

Elder Joseph B Worthlin, in his talk, "Come what may, and Love it!, said, " The way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life." He goes on to say, "...learn to laugh. I remember loading up our children in a station wagon and driving to Los Angeles. There were at least nine of us in the car, and we would invariably get lost. Instead of getting angry, we laughed. Every time we made a wrong turn, we laughed harder.
Getting lost was not an unusual occurrence for us. Once while heading south to Cedar City, Utah, we took a wrong turn and didn’t realize it until two hours later when we saw the "Welcome to Nevada" signs. We didn’t get angry. We laughed, and as a result, anger and resentment rarely resulted. Our laughter created cherished memories for us."

Q: Does anyone have an example where choosing to laugh instead of cry turned something into a cherished memory instead of a negative experience?

The next time you’re tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.


CONCLUSION:
As I prepared this lesson, I found so many talks on lds.org about being happy. If you ever feel like you need a boost, I encourage you to look there. Heavenly Father truly wants us to enjoy this journey back to Him. He wants us to "Choose Happiness".

(Oyster Poem:)
There once was an Oyster, whose story I'll tell--
He'd found that some sand had worked under his shell.
Now did he berate this working of fate,
that left him in such a deplorable state?
Did he curse the government? Call for an election,
and say that the sea should have some protection?
No! He said to himself,
as he sat on the shelf...
"If I cannot remove it, I think I'll improve it."
Well, years passed by, as years often do,
'Til he came to his destiny... oyster stew!
Now this tale has a moral. For isn't it grand...
what and oyster can do with a small grain of sand?
And what couldnt we do, if we'd only begin
with all of the things that get under our skin?


I hope that as we face the trials (or grains of sand) that are a normal part of this life, we will be able to separate the things that are our "real lives" and the things that "shall be but a small moment...and shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." (D&C121:7 and D&C 122:7)
As we remember these things, and strive to CHOOSE happiness– I testify that it will become more natural, and in turn– we will be better prepared to lift and strengthen others.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.