Finding Joy in Womanhood and Nobility in Motherhood

Last night was the Relief Society birthday party in my new ward. They asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would be one of the three featured speakers for the program. I was nervous about the assignment, but enjoyed feeling Heavenly Father's guidance as I prepared my talk. I truly did learn a lot. My testimony and LOVE of my calling as a mother increased tremendously as a result of my study. This is a copy of my presentation.  (I don't know why some font is showing up big and others small??? I tried to fix it, but can't seem to.


Finding Joy in Womanhood and Nobility in Motherhood

I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to share a few thoughts with you this evening and hope that what I say will be uplifting and that you will perhaps hear what you came here tonight needing to hear.

(NEST STORY)

I would like to begin with a little experience I had last week as I saw my little niece, Abby, walking home from school. In her hand, she was clutching some twigs. I asked her why she was collecting twigs. She told me that for weeks, she had been watching for and gathering the perfect twigs, because she was planning to use them to build a nest. We talked about how she wanted to also find something soft to put in the nest to make it just right. She spoke to me of her earnest hope that when she puts her nest outside, a bird might decide to make her carefully constructed nest into their home. I loved this exchange with Abby, because it illustrates the fact that, as women—it is so natural for us to want to nurture. The desire to create, to love, to comfort, and show compassion, are such inherent parts of our divine nature. I found it even more wonderful that our discussion revolved around nest building, because—to me—nests have always been a symbol of womanhood and motherhood. 

I would like to talk to you for a moment about nest building. Have you ever watched a bird build a nest? It is fascinating. Have you ever taken time to stop and really study a nest? While often times, nests appear haphazardly constructed—they are actually very intentionally built in a manner that fits that specific birds environments and personal or family needs. 

I have brought a few nest pictures that I would like to show you.

(SHOW NEST PICTURES)

This is a Rock Sparrow nest. The Rock Sparrow lives in sharp rocky crevices-- which is why they make nests that are extra feathery and soft. 

House finches build their nest very quickly (in as little as 2 days) out of whatever they can find. I think their nests are beautiful messes.

This Caspian Terns nest was found on a beach. They build their ornate nests out of shells.

This is the nest of a California Towhee. It is lined with horse hair. The mama bird risked her life every time she swooped in to pluck these horse hairs out of a horse's tail-- but she wanted a soft lining in her cozy nest.

This Gold Masked Tenegar built her nest in some abandoned honey comb.  At first, when I saw this picture-- I thought "What a dangerous place for a bird to make a nest." It was only later; that I realized she was simply doing the best with what she was given.

The Western Tenegar builds their nest in pine trees, because of the protection that the needles offer from predators.

Lastly, is my favorite-- the American Goldfinch. The male and female both pair up to build the nest. First, the male chooses a safe and sturdy location. Then the female gathers the right materials and builds the nest while the male stands guard. She does such a good job, that the nest ends up being water tight-- thus keeping the family tucked safe inside. If a rainstorm comes, the parents cover the nest to protect it and prevent the family from drowning. 

  

It seems to me that birds invest everything—their time, their energy, their means, even their own comfort—to make a home and rear their young. It is not a priority that is given second place or avoided. It takes first place.

For a moment, I would like for you to think about the importance of the figurative nests that we build for ourselves and our families.  Are we intentional about the nest that we are creating? Is creating a heavenly home our number one priority? No matter what season of life we might find ourselves in or what our circumstances might be, I believe that the principle of nest building (AKA homemaking) applies to all of us. It is our responsibility and privilege as women to (as President Kimball said) “build our home into a heaven of delight.”

Sister Barbara W. Winder said that “There is an art to being a homemaker. For ourselves, and for our families, it is important that we have a sanctuary—a place of refuge away from the world where we feel comfortable and where, if others come, they too can feel comfortable.” (Daughters in my Kingdom, 156)

I love the quote by President Spencer W. Kimball stating, “To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. . . . [You have] been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and the guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution.” (Daughters in my Kingdom, 145)

Just as all birds—despite their differences-- build some type of nest; there are a few materials that MUST be included in our building in order for us to have success… no matter what type of bird we might be and how full or empty our nest might be--  these are vital. The 3 things are: Family Prayer, Family scripture study, and Family Home evening.

1-    Family Prayer—

 In a talk entitled, “Three Goals to Guide You”, President Thomas S. Monson said, “Perhaps there has never been a time when we had greater need to pray and to teach our family members to pray.  Prayer is a defense against temptation. It is through earnest and heartfelt prayer that we can receive the needed blessings and the support required to make our way in this sometimes difficult and challenging journey we call mortality.”

2-    Family Scripture Study-

President Ezra Taft Benson said, “Individual scripture reading is important, but family scripture reading is vital. Reading the Book of Mormon together as a family will especially bring increased spirituality into your home and will give both parents and children the power to resist temptation and to have the Holy Ghost as their constant companion. I promise you that the Book of Mormon will change the lives of your family.”

3-    Family Home Evening-

Make weekly FHE one of your great family traditions. Remember the marvelous promise made by President Joseph F. Smith when home evenings were first introduced to the Church: ‘If the saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influence and temptations which beset them” (Eternal Marriage Student Manual, 355).

Those 3 things should be the main foundation of our homes. I love how each quote spoke of the PROTECTION that they will bring into our home if we do them. We honestly cannot afford to neglect them!

I have often wondered how birds learn to build nests—particularly the type of nests specific to their needs. In addition to thinking about literal nest-building-- I have spent countless hours pondering on how to build my figurative nest into the type of home that Heavenly Father wants me to create and is right for my own and my family’s needs.  A nest that is right for a flamingo isn’t necessarily going to work for an eagle. All birds need nests, but their nesting needs vary.  So it is with us as women. We are all daughters of our Heavenly Father—bestowed with wonderful gifts that make us feminine and nurturing. However, those gifts are manifest different in each of us, and so the type of nest that will bring us the most joy might be different than the nest our neighbor is building. Just like the nests we looked at, some nests need to be very soft, others have a greater need for protection, some nests are built with a supportive partner, and then there are those striving to make the best nest with what they have been given. However, I am convinced that Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us in our efforts to create the right nest for our specific circumstances.  If we ask for His guidance, and follow His counsel, we will find peace, protection, and joy.

So, I would like to focus—for a second—on a few of the things that we might do in our homes that foster  joy and create a sanctuary suited to our own personal and family needs. These are suggestions gathered from talks, as well as asking women for their suggestions.  The list included:

1-    Play together (and this isn’t just for those with children— all of us can enjoy and celebrate life! Go on picnics (even under the kitchen table), play at the park, have a race around the house, play dress up. These are things that make life wonderful!

2-    Have dinner together—this is often the only time that we actually stop and sit and enjoy each other’s company throughout the busy day.

3-    Establish traditions—this is one of the key ways to care for your families specific needs. I know my children look forward to Waffle Wednesday and Friday Family Fun Night. One of my favorite traditions is having my children write a letter to the Easter bunny. Bearing their testimony about the true meaning of Easter—explaining that is what we will be focusing on on Sunday, and asking if the EB would come on Saturday instead. Traditions are so important.

4-    Set goals. Post them in a visible spot. (share example of a visible jar with marbles as a motivation in the March Ensign)

5-    Read to your children. I recently read a survey that had asked kids what are some things their parents do that make them feel important and loved. The number one answer (even among older children) was they liked being read to.

Sister Virginia U. Jensen said “Sisters in all life circumstances have opportunities to build and nurture others within their sphere of influence. As you and I learn more about Heavenly Father’s plan of salvation, we are assured that no matter the circumstances of our individual lives, creating a safe and nurturing environment for those we love is of the utmost importance. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: “The home is usually the place where most of our faith is established and increased. … How sad, therefore, that some homes are merely a pit stop, when they should be a prep school for the celestial kingdom” (Lord, Increase Our Faith [1994], 117). As we fight the negative influences of the world and struggle to build homes that are “a prep school for the celestial kingdom,” let us remember that our earthly activities have a spiritual base and a celestial conclusion.” (CR, Oct 1999)

During the past couple of weeks, I have prayed to know what Heavenly Father would have me say to you this evening, and over and over the answer has been that He is so proud of our efforts. He knows that it can be hard, and discouraging, and even heartbreaking at times. He is aware of our struggles. The scriptures tell us that He notices when even a tiny sparrow falls.  Then in Matthew 10:31, the Savior says, “Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.”    He loves us beyond our capacity to fully understand. We are his literal spirit daughters. Our role in His plan is KEY. Without us doing our part, the entire plan would be frustrated. Lucifer is aware of that fact, which is why he works so very hard to make us feel inadequate, unimportant, and like our efforts don’t matter.

Elder Richard G. Scott has warned us, saying, “Beware of the subtle ways Satan employs to take you from the plan of God and true happiness. One of Satan’s most effective approaches is to demean the role of wife and mother in the home. This is an attack at the very heart of God’s plan.” (CR Oct. 1996, 102). 

Lucifer would have us believe we are failing (while everyone else around us seems to be doing it perfectly). We CANNOT fall for his sneaky lies.

Heavenly Father does not want us to look at our own nest—which might often feel like that of a  house finch (show picture) and feel discouraged when our neighbor might be sitting in something that looks more like the beautiful nest of a Caspian Tern (show picture) Comparison is a thief of joy. Please do not allow yourself to feel discouraged or insignificant.  I am here to testify tonight that your efforts do matter.  We need to remember that our Father in Heaven appreciates every sincere effort—even those that seem small or fruitless.  As Women and Mother’s you have such potential for good in the world! You are doing an amazing work.

Since the theme for the evening is finding JOY in womanhood and nobility in motherhood, I would like to quickly mention that I wholeheartedly believe that the secret to finding joy in this wonderfully exhausting divine calling that we carry lies in the word J-O-Y. If we try to build homes and lives that focus on 1^st—Jesus, 2^nd – Others, then lastly—You. We will be happy. This is Heavenly Father’s formula. It is not the world’s formula. The world says that if YOU want to be happy, then YOU need to focus on YOU.  I have a testimony of this, and promise that if you devote our time to Jesus, Others, and then You—that JOY will be a blessing all throughout your life as well as  through the eternities. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.